So this has been a strange month. On December 4th, with no particularly immediate warning, my father passed away. For people who read this and weren't aware, he'd been in a nursing home for a couple of years now, and had a whole host of health problems. The surprising part about it was that he had just seemed to really be settling into a stable position, and everybody was under the impression he was going to be around for a good while longer; even just a few years ago, he seemed to be much worse off, and, frankly, I had been starting at that point to wonder how much longer he would be with us.

The consensus is that he experienced some sort of "major cardiac episode". If there can be a fortunate side to this sort of thing, it's that it seems like it was a very sudden event. My father is not the kind of person who was suited to withering away, and he passed exactly as he should have: quickly, and basically in the middle of an argument about how he was fine and could take care of himself.

All else set aside, loosing my father has certainly made me think about my own life in a somewhat more immediate way. My dad was only 56 -- which means I am roughly at the mid-way point of his lifespan myself -- and, though I don't aspire to a short life (contrary to my outward personality at times), it's a harrowing thought to be confronted with the loss of a parent at such a relatively young age (for both of us); there's also a mixed sensation when you're suddenly surrounded by people who tell you that you "look just like your father when he was your age", and "you sound just like him": on the one hand, I've taken some pride in those sorts of statements, and counted them as compliments, but on the other, what does that say about my future health, if anything?